I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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