At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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