Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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