I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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