so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
