I think i peed on brittanys purse
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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