Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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