doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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