i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
