HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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