You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
