Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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