So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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