This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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