you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
