I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
