Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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