New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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