we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
