I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
His hands were made for my vagina.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
