You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
