Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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