There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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