He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
