You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
