I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
