After last night, I could never be a politician.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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