I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
