i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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