since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
