Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
operation harelip BJ is a go
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
