So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
