your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
