Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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