Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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