I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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