It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
