I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
