you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
