Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
