Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
