You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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