I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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