This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
