I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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