Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
