shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
