My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Randomize
