i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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