If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
