Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize